Mandatory Gerbil Implants

Hey Lovebugs,

I was just talking to Boytanio, (head of scientific advancement department) and he had some very intriguing test results.  You see, I felt the Whalers had very slow team speed.   So I had Boytanio look into ways that could improve our quickness.

First we looked into ways of training our legs into better shape.  So I tied Boytanio to the back of the Lovebug van and floored the accelerator to the speeds of 85mph.  His nibble little caffs scrapped along the asphalt, until i reached a 4way intersection.  Boytanio was covered in bandages for severed months, due to the severe asphalt burns.

Next we research the advancements of vitamins and protein to our daily diet.  We found out that if we added high proteins like (meat, fish, nuts, or kangaroo meat) our muscles would increase in bulkiness.     I felt we already had enough meat, fish, and nuts in our diets.  Boytanio can do amazing things in the kitchen and in the sack if you know what i mean. Wink! Wink! :) :>>>>>>>

So I flew Boytanio to Australia  to obtain high protein kangaroo meat.  I didn't realize that it was Gay Awareness week in Sydney,during  the week of Boytanio's visit.  Distracted by all the extreme international gayness, Boytanio never left the "Bavarian Bear Group" whom snatch him up.

Defeated and dishearten I felt nothing was going to help the Lovebugs team speed.  But when Boytanio came back from Australia, I notice he was squirming a lot, and looked very uncomfortable.

"Ahhh... Boytanio could you go fetch me the paper?" I asked

Boytanio got up and sprinted like a cheetah to the front lawn.  Before I could finish my next "Ahhh..", the paper was in my hand.

I was amazed of Boytanio's speed  that morning
"How did you do that?"

Boytanio raised his shoulders in confusion, and didn't say a word.

Later that night, my sexual ambitions got a little frisky.  I pulled Boytanio away from his late night drinking and force him on the bed.  As I had my way with Boytanio's body, I notice an object lodged in Boytanio's anus. 

"Ahhh... Boytanio! What the hell is stuck in your asshole?"

"Oh, I totally forgot.  When I was in Australia i got a Gerbil Implant in my shooter."  Boytanio explained

"Is that why your so quick and nimble?"  I asked

"I don't know.  All I can tell you is that I haven't take a shit in two weeks."  Boytanio remarked

"Eureka!  That's it.  I'm going to make it mandatory for every Lovebug to get a gerbil implant.  Nobody is going to catch us on the sport-court this season."  I shouted with glee.

"Well, can I get a new implant.  I think my gerbil ate some of my internal colon." asked Boytanio

"Oh Boytanio!"