In a season with constant disappointments and controversial line changes, the Waterford Whalers have reached the bottom of the barrel. This past week, the Whalers dropped both games to inferior opponents. With these loses, playoffs are a far stretch.
Coach Ace trying to institute a strategic game-plan, was unsuccessful in his objective. Busting out his white board this is what Ace came up with.
Assistant Captain Briere was non-to pleased about Ace's whiteboard scheme. "Why the hell are you bringing a whiteboard to a Men's league game? Can that whiteboard draw-up my offensive talents. No, so sit back down Ace."
Ace not backing down fired back at Briere "Well maybe if you backcheck more and didn't skate lack a sac of turds Briere, I wouldn't have to bring this whiteboard. If you want to continue to skate it to the blue line, and take meaningless slapshots go ahead. But, the rest of the team is trying to win here."
Briere insulted by Ace's remarks replies "Ace shut the fuck up! You should concern yourself more of making a break-out pass, instead of trying to skate it up." Briere points to Ace's whiteboard. "I've been standing at that neutral zone face-off dot the entire game and not once have you attempted to make a pass."
"Briere that's my entire point. If you would skate more and contribute more defensively, our team wouldn't be losing." Ace remarks.
"Ace, you suck. Nothing you say makes any sense. Put, that gay whiteboard away, or I'm going to shove it up your ass!" Briere frustrated skates away, and position himselfs at the neutral zone face- off dot.
A hard look in the mirror and the Whalers have improved drastically since the beginning of the season, but Briere's line has been a detrimental to the team's success. Their inconsistent scoring, and defensive liabilities have been in question.
An email from a disgruntle former player had very harsh words for this line. "These guys on Briere's line think they are far superior than anybody else. I just wanted to get a skate in, and these a-holes would call me off the ice after 20 seconds. I would reconsider if these guys were any good, but they are not. The only thing Briere is good for is a -4 every game, and an over elaborate celebration for a meaningless goal. I may have gotten my money back, but next time I see this guys, watch your back. I just got my skates sharpen muther-fucker."
With only 3 games remaining in the season, the Whalers would have to win out, and get help from some other teams, if they would lock a playoff spot. But, a bright spot has been the play of the third line with Tuna, Rock Lobster and Stilts. Scoring 3 goals on Thurs night, this line has been an offensive Juggernaut. Led by mullet waving Rock Lobster, who tallied 2 goals and a assist. When ask about this offensive outburst, Rock Lobster credited his hard work ethic.
"I've been skating with a 50lb weighted vest during public skate. This really helps, and I recommend everyone else to do the same. I also do a lot of deep sea diving with my lobster claw. This requires a superior amount of lung capacity, and durable reflexes to fight off unwanted sea creatures. After, I finish a dive, I like to pound a case of Bud, and shot pucks."
Next opponent for the Whalers is the dreaded Tropics Thurs June 13 at 8pm who dismantled the Whalers during Master P's blow-up on the ice. Come early as each fan receives an autograph print by Coach Ace.
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