Oh Mercy Me

With All-star goaltender Swiss Cheese Ronda sidelined on the IR with a torn MCL from a cheese grater accident.  The Waterford Whalers called up Evil Mogilny and Buzz Killington to replace their missing Dairy product in net.

The first game game against Shop Rite on Tuesday, Evil Mogilny possessed the net with his 1992 28' inch black cooper rubber leg pads and his limited edition green and black Wayne Gretzky Roller Blades.  

Shop Rite was toying with the Whalers by passing the puck and not taking many shots on the unorthodox goaltender.  The Evil channeled his Satanic powers with impressive kick saves, and blocker punches to the corner.  By the end of the second period the score was only 3-2 Shop Rite.

But the third period our heroic soul grabber, ran out of steam and looked sluggish to complete the game.  Shop Rite tired of toying with the inferior Whalers, took shots and mercy the Whalers 12-2 with 3 minutes left in the third period.

Management made the following statement after the 12-2 lost.  "We appreciate Evil Mogilny filling in for the Whalers at short notice.  His grit and determination gave the Whalers a fighting chance in the game.   We're releasing Evil Moginly and calling up Buzz Killington for the following game tomorrow night.  Evil, you can now go back to eating souls, and harassing senior citizens."

The following night the Whalers match-up against the Fighting Amish, with Buzz Killington in net.

I don't know where these Amish learn to play hockey, but they were in a league of their own.  Killington was forced to make 30 saves in the first period, with only the score 4-0 going into the second period.

In the second Killington pulled a groin muscle during one of his miraculous saves.  At the moment the Amish were wining 7-0 and the Whalers didn't have a goalie to suit up in time.  So Killington in pain finish the game, with a 10-0 mercy halfway through the second period.

The Whalers are now 1-10 on the season, and have looked awful down the stretch.  These last two games have proven a total shake-up is looming.  Management has refuse to speculate on anything and will wait till the season is over on Monday night.  Close sources to the team, have the Arenas buying out the Whalers, and changing the franchise name to the Arena Lovebugs.

So on Monday the Whalers will finish out the season against Sergent Slaughter and company.  If the Whalers win the game, they will kick Slaughter out of playoff contention.  Also it is fan appreciation night, so all fans are welcome to attend the Fudruckers party afterward.  Its a meet and great with all Waterford Whalers players.  Come out and have a drink with Boytanio.  Mock Montel's lackluster effort.  Try to drink JD under the table.  Or come for the smell of hockey men sweat. 

Fight Whale Fight!