Friday, November 19, 2010

Swiss Cheese Ronda Revenge


Without JD, and a few other Whalers.  The Waterford Whalers had to call on some reserves to replace their shorten line-up.  With Gang Green refusing to play with Boytanio, "I will not step on the same rink as that dick weasel Boytatnio"

Coach Master P had to do the unthinkable and call up the car Arena to fill the lineup.  "I really didn't want to have the cancer in the locker-room back on the team.   And cancer I mean Steve Arena.  But nobody else wanted to play for the Whalers.  I figured only a few shifts wouldn't hurt the chemistry on this team.  But I was clearly wrong."

JD feeling guilty for leaving Master P to drink alone in the locker room.  Made a stop at the Skatezone after a night at the gentleman's club Shakers.  "I had a few shots with Master P, than only stayed for the first period.  It was awful to watch our team play like that.  I couldn't bare to watch anymore, so it was time to go back to Shakers."

The Whalers with only 2 subs, were clobbered by the supremacy of the first place Shop Rite.  Swiss Cheese Ronda was rather bored in net, by only seeing 12 shots on goal.  "I could of brought my lazzy boy sofa, and watch a nice cooking show about 101 ways to use Swiss Cheese.  Those Whalers looked sluggish, and dis-interested in the game.  I thought coach Master P, was going to blow an artery, from his constant yelling at Steve Arena."

Shop Rite easy cruised to a 11-1 mercy win, by the beginning of the third period.  It was the worse lost for the Whalers this season, and has now moved them into 5th place with a 4-2-1 record.

Master P wasn't too pleased after the game, "Well it looks like were back to being the worse team in Skatezone history.  Next time, I would rather have no substitutions, than have car Arena on this team.  I thought after the outdoor Whalers winning a championship, maybe some of that winning would rub off on this team.  Nope, Steve Arena still sucks."

Swiss Cheese Ronda was very happy for his revenge on Boytanio and his car run government of a team.  "Revenge was so sweet.  I might be Swiss Cheese, but the Arenas and the Whalers stink like moldy cheese!"

Only Stilts had any time to talk to the media after the game. 

Mr. Stilts what were your thoughts about the game tonight?
"It was bad.  Their is really nothing else to say, but that we suck tonight."

What were your thoughts about adding the Car Arena to the team?
"I have nothing bad to say about those guys.  They are really nice people.  But as hockey players go, they are not the most talented bunch.  Plus their constant sunshine and rainbows talk is a bit much. Like I didn't sign up to join a cult.  Lay off the koolaid guys, this isn't that much fun."

Do you see this team competing for the Championship?
"If we get back some of our danglers, than yes.  We were playing really well for the first half of the season, and if we get back to that level, I don't see why not."

Now, your contract expires after this season.  Are you going to re-sign with the Whalers or are you going to test the free agency market?
"I can't comment on that right now. I've grown with this organization, and have won here as well.  My agent will handle negotiations, and we'll come to that decision in the off season.  Now, I'm concentrated on winning, and playing for coach Master P."

The Whalers will try to redeem themselves in their next match-up on Monday against the Lone Rangers at 10pm.  Show up and receive a free Boytanio chauffeur's cap complements of the Gentleman's Club Shakers.  Club Shakers; great food, great fun, and great tits and ass.   Only minutes away from the Flyers Skatezone. 

Free Boytanio Chauffeur's hat. 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

JD Lost for the Season

In a dramatic turn of events, veteran and Daily Whaler supporter JD has been sidelined with a torn MCL and ACL.  Medical examiner of the Waterford Whalers has JD missing the rest of this season, and possible the rest of the Spring Season.

When reached for comment about his injury JD had this to say " Serves me right playing after drinking tequila."
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The indoor Whalers are coming off an impressive 13-4 victory on Monday night, and have climbed into Championship contention with a 4-1-1 record.  Goaltender Sargent Slaughter has been mighty impressive in net, by leading all goaltenders with a 3.21 GAA.    "I'm getting ready for my 16th championship!" a boastful Slaughter replied

Coach Master P, now has to go to his reserve roster to replace the leadership of JD.  "This is going to be tough, to find a person who would pound some beers, and take a few shots of tequila before the game.  Its not going to be the same drinking by myself in the locker-room." Master P explained.

The next opponent for the Whalers are the talented Shop Rite team, that is alone in first place, with Swiss Cheese Ronda in net.   "I'm going to make Boytanio, wish he never kicked me off the team.  Than he didn't have the courage to tell me I was kicked off.  I had to find out through the Whalers equipment manager, that I was not allowed to come back.  What a weasel that Boytanio guy is."

Picture of Brian Boytanio, in Weasel form 
 
JD, thinks the Whalers should go in a different direction for his replacement  "I really think we have a chance to win it all this season.  I would be satisfied with a Rosco Gang Green addition to the roster.  Granted he skates like a mule, has a shot of a fly swatter, and the speed of a tortoise.  His heart is a great complement to the roster.  My drinking habit was due to the constant sunshine and rainbows by car arena.  Just the thought of it, makes me crave a bottle of Bourbon.  With Gang Green, he will fight hard, or will fall over with a concussion.  Its time the Whalers wise up and call the services of the General Rosco Gang Green!"

Management has yet to make a decision on the matter, and will make a roster move before next week's game.