Flames burn Koolaid Killers 6-5 to end season.

Franky the Flame of the Pennsauken Flames

Koolaid Killing time has come to an end, by the hands of the Pennsauken Flames on Sunday night.  It was the third time this season, the Koolaid Killers were defeated by the Flames, and it also ended any chance of a championship run.

As in many of the Koolaid Killers games, the game was close, but the Killers never had a lead and was always playing from behind.  

In the closing seconds, Tyler had the best chance to tie the game on a pass from the Chief Editor.  A centering pass from the far left boards went across a melee of players, to a undetected Tyler who managed to shoot the puck barley wide.

Quads then had the puck in the final seconds along the boards, but couldn't settle the puck down to get a shot off in time.  The Koolaid Killers fought to the end, but were defeated 6-5.

Assistant Captain Joey seemed pleased about the outcome of the season "This was a very successful season.  We started out slow at 1-4.  But our second half we finish at 4-2 and beat the Whalers in the first round of the playoffs.  It's disappointing, we didn't make it to the championship finals, but everyone in the this locker-room played their hearts out.  I for one, am proud to call myself a Koolaid Killer." 

Stilts blamed the vulnerability of the Koolaid Killers coaching staff for the playoff elimination"Yeah it was a tough season.  First we had 4 coaching changes.  Evil Mogilny, bitched about not having a designated parking space, for his Iroc-z.  Then Gang Green, was blackmailed for a indecent exposure incident in the Skatezone Parking lot.  Interim Head Coach Collins, never came back from a long night of break-dancing with Funk Master Flex.  So, we had to settle with Mr. Morrotto.  I wish we just ask him in the beginning instead of having to go through this circus act of head coaches.  Like why wasn't he put on the ballot?  Why isn't the blog updated more?  When are we getting Koolaid Killers warm-up suits? I just want answers! God Damn it! "

"Than you for your concerns Stilts.  Yes Mr.  Morrotto should of been on the ballot.  Like who voted for Joel Otto anyway.  I know the blog is very entertaining, and it's like a drug for the ones who like and dislike it.  But unfortunately this is not a paid position, and it takes me many hours to come up with these hilarious jokes.  You see most writers have the luxury of a staff joke writer.  I on the other hand, have to sit in front of my laptop and write jokes, and then read them allowed to my test audience.  I then give them a survey to fill out when I'm done, and rate each joke on a scale of 1-100 on the level of hilarity.  I calculate those scores, then I print the finalists with virgin Bull's blood as ink.  Once the ink, is dry, I post the scores on a hidden tree bark in the remote South Jersey Pinelands.  I wait for a pack of wild turkey to peck away at the scores, and choose the remaining jokes left on the virgin bull's blood inked paper.  But maybe next season we get some sweet Koolaid Killers warm-up suits."

Oh Yeaaahhhhhhh!!!!

The next Spring Season starts on May 13.  Ronda will be taking over for the absent Chief Editor, who will be taking a leave of absence, until the Fall season.  Joey, and Quads also opted out of their Spring League contracts.

Head Scout Tyler has promise some great new talent for the Spring Season.  Tryouts will held at the Waterford Gardens on Thurs May 5, if you think you have what it takes to make the Koolaid Killers squad show up for an interview, and a performance exam.

Kill Koolaid Kill!

Bye Bye Whalers!

It was the best of times, it was the even more better of times.   As the Koolaid Killers advance further into the playoffs with an impressive 5-2 victory of an emotionally distraught Whalers.

Even before the opening face-off the entire car Arena and Sergent Slaughter called fouled about an illegal player substitution.  "Ehhh....that's not fair if you let Ed, play Ehhhhh..  I paid all this money, and made sure to play in the most uncompetitive league available and now you pull a fast one on us.  That's like Ehhhhhh.............................not Ehhhhhhhhhhhh...................you know Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........Its Ehhhhhhhhhh...................."

After the 30th Ehhhhhh.... by Captain Arena, the Koolaid Killers ignored their concerns and got on with the game.

In the locker-room an inspired Joey "Domo Arigato" Morrotto rallied the troops,  "This is the Stanley Cup Finals for all I care.  I lost to those A-holes in the Outdoor League and never heard the end of it.  Do you know what it's like to lose to a Circus clown and two helper elves.  Believe you me, I still wake up in the middle of the nights and sweat puddles of humiliation.  I swore, to myself.  Never again!"

With the fired up speech, the Koolaid Killers played behind the words of Joey.  They never took a shift off, they never complained about playing time.  They vigorously played for the logo on their chest, of a Koolaid Man being tipped over. They had finally become true Koolaid Killers.

Joey skated like a wildebeest, going in and out of the Whalers defense.  The rest of the team, followed suit with bone crushing defense, and timely scoring. 

"I watched 11 hours of Wrestlemania classic footage of Sergent Slaughter to studied his weakness and flaws as a goaltender.  I wanted to be an impact player for our team, and put everything I had out on the rink.  This wasn't just a game, this was a message.  If you talk the talk, you better walk the walk.  Or you can just accept defeat."    Proverb 1:16 Joey "Domo Arigato" Morrrotto

With a commanding 4-0 lead after the first period, Swiss Cheese Ronda held down the fort.  A frustrated Boytanio was amazed by the performance of Ronda "I just couldn't find any holes to shoot on him.  Did Ronda get some cork filling plastic surgery done.  Cause that wasn't the same Swiss Cheese Ronda, I cut from the Whalers."

Swiss Cheese Ronda was very humble about his performance,  "Sergent Slaughter you can suck it!!!!  I guess you'll be stuck on 15 championships.  Maybe next time, you should can call the Iron Sheik from Iran to help you out next time."

"I will restore honor to the my good friend Sergent Slaughter"

With 5 minutes left in the third period the Whalers capitalize on their 7th powerplay of the game.  And then was awarded another powerplay and scored quickly to make the game interesting at 4-2.  Tyler called a time-out and settled his players down.

"You guys, need to chill the fuck out.  We're up 4-2 and I haven't even scored a goal yet.  So everyone, sit on the bench, and relax a second.  And watch this muth-fucka, turn some tricks, like a ho on roller-blades."

In the winding minutes of the game, Tyler block a pass and took the puck along the far left boards.  He put the breaks on.  Surveyed his options, and then let a fireball out of his blade.  Slaughter was so overwhelmed by the power of the shot, that it trickled through his pads.  That was the dagger, that ended the Whalers season.

The Koolaid Killers march on and will face their next opponent on Sunday at either 9pm or 10pm.  Wear your Koolaid Killers shirts with pride or you can purchase one for only $10.  Now is your time to join the Kooliad Killing Nation.  When life get's you down, remember the night the Koolaid Kilers punted the  Whalers out of the playoffs.