The Wholly Monk

Hi this is Master P for The Daily Whaler.  The Whalers split their two games this week with a 1-1 record.  I caught up with new back-up goalie "Wholly Monk" to reflect on the past games.

Master P "What were your first thoughts about playing for the Whalers"

Wholly Monk: "I read about them on the daily whaler, and heard very negative things.  I thought to myself do I really want to play for a team that finish 1-11 in the previous season.  But I told my head master Swiss Cheese Ronda I would fill in for him, as he went on his journey to patch his holes."

Master P "Is that how you obtain, your holes yourself from Swiss Cheese Ronda?"

Wholly Monk "No, no no.  You see I've too be playing goalie for awhile.  And after a few seasons, your body begins to wear down from all the goals being scored.  So naturally I obtain the holes.  I've learned to nurture my holes, and be one with my hole.  I'm  a very spiritual person, so these holes, are just an extension of my living soul. You have to welcome the holes.  Let the holes know you're ok with their presence.  The wholes are a metaphor of life.  That obstacles are thrown at your way, and you have to overcome them by looking past the holes.  The holes also symbolize the sun God Ra.  To let the light in, a hole is formed.

Master P begins to snore, and the Wholly Monk gets rather upset
"Are you sleeping?"

Master P "Where the hell am I"

Wholly Monk "You were interviewing me."

Master P  "Who are you?  Where did all my stuff go?"

Wholly Monk "You're in my house.  You came over here to do an interview for the daily whaler."

Master P "Oh yeah.  So what were your feelings, when you first entered the whaler locker-room?"

Wholly Monk "At first, I was appalled by the extreme rainbows, and sunshine in the locker-room.  I saw half the team hugging, and laughing with each other.  I turned to a gentlemen named Stilts and asked him what was going on.  He said "don't worry they only hug the ones who drink the kool-aid"

Master P "Did you drink the Kool-aid?"

Wholly Monk "No. I might be a free spirit, but I'm not into the homo-erotic love fest before a game.  Like can't those guys wait until the game is over."

Master P "Who impressed you the most on the Whalers?

Wholly Monk "Stilts.  He was a very good skater, and was the only person who acknowledge me.  Everyone else was cool and very nice.  Except Boytanio.  That guy was a total dick."

Master P "Boytanio is a dick."

Wholly Monk "Yeah what is up with that."

Master P "He is a puppet in the Car Arena Empire."

Wholly Monk "You know what.  I noticed that.  Those Arenas made him fill up their water bottles, tie their skates, drive them to the game, pay for their fruit snacks, polish their helmets, spit shine their protective cups, while they didn't even show a grain of gratitude."

Master P "So whats next for the Wholly Monk?"

Wholly Monk "I plan on playing the next 2 games, if Boytanio allows me.   If not, I will continue to pray for another opportunity to play goal.  But for now all I can do is pray, and be one with the holes."

The Whalers will host their next 2 games next Mon, and Tues.  Come out and cheer for your home-town Whalers.

One Love,
Master P