Whalers go Outdoors

 To further boost team morale and ticket sales, the Waterford Whalers have expanded their indoor franchise to an outdoor organization.  The Whalers now have an indoor team and outdoor team.  Two teams, two leagues, one grand ambitious goal of adequate play.

Our field reporter and outdoor extraordinaire "Quad F. Kennedy Skates", or as the ladies call him Quads.  Sent this report to the Daily Whaler News Desk.  

Hi this is Quads, for the Daily Whaler news team.  I'm here outside, where hockey should be played. No hot indoor leagues, with mustache aficionados plumber referees.  Its just clean air, and the hard asphalt of ball roller hockey.

Last night's game saw the Whalers dominant against the Marlton Circle Coneheads.  As I first approached the rink, I was hounded, booed and ridiculed upon by some racist Quad users.   These 3 puck/ball sluts were watching their boyfriends on the other team. When I first came out I saw them pointing and laughing at me- until I went quad crazy from end to end making everyone look like a cone and scoring on their Swiss cheese Ronda impersonator goalie.

Some guy checked me behind the net that Boytano was working in.  I retaliated with a shove and a "My Quads don't take any crap form anybody" attitude but their team got a penalty. A1 steak sauce splurge his delicious steak sauce all over the Marlton Circle Coneheads with a 4 goal effort.  The man known for ruling the world Coldplay had a hat-trick, while nursing a broken skate.  He rolled the dice, with toe drags and sniper shooting that had grown men crying yellow.  

I, Quads had 3 goals and a assist as well.  My blistering turn-around no look wrist shot were no match for goalie Conehead.  His large cone shape head, was dizzy from the constant goal scoring.  It was a shooter gallery as the big 3, Quads, A1, and Coldplay light the lamp to no regards.

Steve Arena and Montel were no shows, as they were at the "Million Miserable Man March" in Washington D.C.  Their motto is "We're here and we have a laundry list of complaints that we're not happy about." 

Without the tenacious "I only care about my playing time duo."  The Whalers were cohesive, with terrific team effort led by new head coach A.I.   He wasn't as good as the Collins or Master P but we definitely benefited from A.I.'s working knowledge of the game.

Mini-Boytanio and Matt Arena didn't show up on the scoring card, but A.I. will have a training camp before next Tuesday's game to improve their offense abilities. 

Our only competition should be the Gee Smiley team, that recruited Waterford Elite player Little Joey.  But the way we played last night, the outdoor Whalers should have an easy road to a championship.  Get your champagne on ice, and championship Lady Gaga videos ready.  This year the Whalers will harpoon the Marlton Outdoor League.  As one wise man told me;"heart, determination, skill, defense, ability to score,  and lack of complaining wins."

Go Outdoor Whale Go!

On, by the way here is the number 1, 2, and 3rd star of the game.

Eat your heart out Marlton Circle Coneheads

Viva la Quads! Viva la Quads!