Whalers bought out by Chinese Restaruant

Golden Monkey Chinese Restaurant logo

This just came off the wire, from the VSN media global.  The Waterford Whalers organization has been sold to the "Golden Monkey" Chinese Restaurant franchise.  It appears financial problems have caused the Whalers inability to compete in the Voorhees Men's league. 

Here is a statement from president of the former Waterford Whalers organization.  "Today is a sad day for the legions of Waterford fans in our area.  Even though we won two championships this year, we were unable to draw enough support from ticket sales, merchandise, and television sponsorship.  Its a business running a Men's league team.  Without a profitable team, its time to cut the losses and move on.

The Golden Monkey Chinese Restaurant, has agreed in principal to buy out the remaining contracts on players and coaching staff in the organization. They have promised to bring back Car Arena, and Sergent Slaughter.  You can buy season tickets on their website at Golden Monkey.com  Or you can go into any local Golden Monkey restaurant and order the General Tso's chicken and receive 10% off a Weeknight game in February."

As for the daily whaler, it has been bought out by a new business partnership led by Quad F. Kennedy Skates and Rosco Gang Green.  This new partnership has establish a new Waterford expansion team, "The Koolaid Killers."

Rosco Gang Green had this to say about being part of the new expansion team.  "The Koolaid Killers are going to take the Voorhees Men's League by storm.  We have a very good team assemble, no crybabys who can't take a joke in a fictitious blog.  Only players who have a personality to destroy sunshine rainbow car run governments.  Its time to rise up and smash that glass of koolaid!"

The Daily Whaler have chosen to keep its name, but get rid of Waterford Whaler logos.  This season the daily whaler will only follow the Koolaid Killers franchise.  The Chief Editor explained the re-formatting. "I figure nobody really cares about the Whalers anymore, since it has been bought out, and will probably move to China in a few years anyway.  In the next few weeks a total overhaul will be performed on the daily whaler.  New colors, logos, graphics, and videos. " 

Head Weasel Brian Boytanio seems to welcome the new ownership of the Whalers.  "I hope they fire Master P as our coach. I'm getting tired of him riding me the entire game.  I'm going to use my weasel senses, by recommending his dismissal, and promote the Arenas as the new head coach.  Then I'll be re-united with car Arena. ha ha ha" A diabolical laugh from Boytanio was heard under his weasel breath.

It is uncertain the future of Master P or any of the other Whaler players.