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| Evil Mogilny with a charming "I'm going to eat your skin" smile |
In what has been a dismal first half of the season, where the Koolaid Killers sank into the cellar of the Bronze League. The Koolaid Killers looked to turnaround their season last night against BMX. It was also the debut of newly elected Head Coach Evil Mogilny.
Before the start of the game Evil Mogilny tried to motivate the troops of the Koolaid Killers, with a pre-game ritual that usually involves a sacrificial live goat. But with a shortage of livestock in the premises of the Flyers Skatezone, Evil Mogilny had to improvise a proper sacrifice.
Evil Mogilny stood in front of his players and rouse them with a motivational speech. "Now, I'm tired of reading about the horrific collapse of this team. You guys are a bunch of pansies, and don't have a clue how to play hockey. I'm an evil man of very few words, So I decided to use my demonic powers to build team moral. "
At that moment Evil Mogilny brought an inanimate object into the Koolaid Killers locker-room. It was a missing dodge ball, that was thrown at the direction of Evil Mogilny's charming smile. Holding the ball with one hand above his head, Evil Mogilny started to chant to his Egyptian demonic god.
"Oh, Mumra my evil lord. I present you a gift from the mortal beings of human Earth. Take the soul of this Dodge Ball and power our Men's League Hockey team to victory. It has been three weeks since our Koolaid Killers last taste the fruits of glory. Sabotage our opponent and deliver us into evil. Hail Mumra!"
The players of the Koolaid Killers were puzzled by Evil Mogilny's attempted sacrifice of a dodge ball. Eric the Sour Puss was rather upset with this strange occurrence. "Mickus, why do you have the weirdest friends? First you bring in Master P, who is now a dancing bear in a Tallahassee Carnival. Then you bring in Gang Green who was caught masturbating in a bush outside of the Flyers's Skatezone. Apparently he didn't want to be the only person to not bust a nut, whatever that means. And now you bring is this Evil Mogilny guy, who is trying sacrifice a dodge ball. What is wrong with these people? Did you hangout out the insane asylum as a child. Cause I don't know where you found these guys. Like do you have any normal friends?"
A loud yell from the locker-room ceiling had interrupted Eric the Sour Puss's rant.
"Muwhahahahahhahahaha! Eric shut the hell up! Maybe if your were not too busy taking unnecessary penalties, the Koolaid Killers could win a game. Now Evil Mogilny has sacrifice a dodge ball to help motivate the Koolaid Killers, and I've acknowledge his evil doing. I behold the power of 20,000 years of Egyptian Mummies, and grant the Koolaid Killers strength to destroy team BMX. Kill Koolaid Kill! Muwhahahahahahhahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!"
With the blessing of Lord Mumra, the Koolaid Killers were determine to end their season high three game losing streak. The lines were shuffled with Coldplay and Quads playing on the same line with Joey and Chief Editor. While the second unit was crowned the Super Negativity Line with Sour Puss and Tyler.
"Super Negativity line only needs Montel and Steve Arena and the entire universe would crumble." A disgruntle Stilts commented.
The Koolaid Killers played with more intensity and ferociousness. Quads played like a man possessed by using his large frame to push his way towards the goal. His constant forecheck, help set up numerous scoring opportunities.
Late into the third period with the score 3-2 Koolaid Killers, Joey set up a wide open Coldplay in the slot for a one-timer. Coldplay used the evil force harness by Lord Mumra's Dodge Ball sacrifice and unleashed a fireball into the top right corner.
The fans screamed the Coldplay chant of "He used to ruuuuuuuuuuullllee the world!!!!" Quads gathered in the celebratory circle of players and stumble over the fallen goal scorer. Quads only had ecstatic words to describe the magnitude of Coldplay's goal
"Coldplay's goal was a loud statement for our team. His message of take this puck and shove it up your BMX pie hole was heard throughout arena. The energy from that shot was the icing on the game, and it shows that even a Bubble Hockey Player can ripe it. I think players from the Super Negativity Line can look to Coldplay for inspiration. This is a turning point in our season, and this victory can salvage our season. Now let's boogie like its 1989!"
The Koolaid Killers managed to hold off BMX for a 5-3 victory to improve their record to 2-4. Next schedule game is Monday March 14 at 9pm against the heated rival Golden Monkey Whalers. Make-up game has not yet been confirmed, but will be posted when it is re-scheduled. Don't forget to destroy the masses and fight against the puppet government oppressors.
Kill Koolaid Kill!
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