Koolaid Killers Dominate without Head Coach Evil Mogilny

Evil Mogilny preparing his next sacrifice

Without the services of Head Coach Evil Mogilny, the Koolaid Killers dominated the Prom Kings with a 7-3 victory last night.  It was the most impressive win of the season, as the balance of lines contributed to 6 different goal scorers.

Swiss Cheese Ronda was stellar in goal stopping 23 shots and made an important save on a Short Handed Breakaway.  Quad Skates missed played a puck at the point, and was burned on defense.  All alone on the breakaway the Prom Kings's forward tried to deke Ronda out of his dairy boots.  But Ronda stuck out his right pad and close the gaping Swiss Cheese Holes with a pad save.

That was the turning point in the game when Ronda made that save.  At that time the Koolaid Killers were only ahead 4-2 in the second period.  If he allowed that goal, the Prom Kings would have cut the lead in half and the momentum would of swung in their favor. 

Interim Head Coach Collins was in shocked on the ability of Swiss Cheese Ronda's performance "I couldn't believe the excellence in which Ronda played last night.  I never thought Ronda could play that well.  Maybe, he felt more comfortable without Evil Mogilny lurching on the bench.  Does anybody even know what happen to Evil Mogilny?  I thought he was the head coach.  I just showed up tonight, because I was promised free beer and sweaty men to hang out with."

Evil Mogilny was rather upset his number wasn't called upon, in the absence of one of their players.  "It was a total insult that I wasn't even consider as a substitute player.  I've given my heart and evil soul to this franchise.  Like how many times do I have to sacrifice a goat, to be able to play. 

Bahhhhhhh Evil Mogilny Bahhhhhhh!!!!

I'm seriously considering resigning as head coach, if I'm not allowed to play in the final game on Sunday.  All I ask is for a chance."

General Management of the Koolaid Killers has issued the following statement "We understand the concerns of Head Coach Evil Mogilny's desire to skate for the organization.  But we feel that his inability to skate properly and fumbling stick-handling would be a liability for our team.  If he wants to skate out, maybe he should join a 40 year old and over league.  The disillusionment of Evil Mogilny's ability to play for the Koolaid Killers is rather an insult to all the players on the team.  He was asked to coach by popular readership vote.  Not to skate out, and be a total disaster.  Right now Collins will be the Interim Head Coach, until Evil Mogilny gets back to reality."

Back in the game action, the Koolaid Killers put together two dominant lines which contribute to the scoring.  The Super Negativity line got total revamped with the addition of the Chief Editor and Ed.  Sour Puss Eric almost had nothing negative to say.  "Well if I could speak freely, I would say Coldplay was a sack of turd out there.  I don't understand why they would promote Coldplay with his free bobble head give away.  You might as well give away free poop, it would be the same. " 

Tyler seemed please with the new additions to his line.
"All I ask was for a mutha-fucka to have some other muth-fuckas who could pass and skate.  Damn it took till game 9 of the season to fill my mutha- fucking request. I felt like a muth fucka slave waiting for reparations.  This mutha fucker was getting really mutha fucking pissed.  But its mutha fucking cool.  I gots some new gangsta mutha fuckers to play with now.  Yea heard!"

Stilts moving away from the Super Negativity line to his new home of the Domo Arigato Line played extremely well.  He excelled at being the stay home defense men while Joey would rush the puck.  Stilts didn't say too much, but just smiled at finally getting the opportunity to play defense.

Meanwhile Quads would stand in front of the net and jump over any shots Joey would take from the point.  They called it the "Quad Skate Jump a Rope Tactic."  Quads would wait for an opportune moment and charged in front of the net with all of his speed, and then would jump in the air to allow the puck to go under his Quad Skates.  Here is a more visualization of the "Quad Skate Jump a Rope Tactic"

Damn Quads!  You got some ups!!!

With this dominant victory the Koolaid Killers clinched a playoff birth.  They will try to even further their playoff position with the conclusion of the regular season this Sunday at 10pm.  It's fan appreciation night, as all fans will receive a Koolaid Killers glass pitcher to smash at their own discretion. 

Kill Koolaid Kill!